DONT LOSE YOUR HEART

Your heart is the most important leadership tool you have. It is not your experience, knowledge, or skills. It is your heart that matters most of all.

Back in the mid-80s, I started my own business. My partner and I left big corporate jobs, developed a business plan, and began raising money for our new venture.

We had one investor who promised to make a sizable investment. However, he ran us through the ringer. The due diligence process was all-consuming. We really didn’t have time to court anyone else. We made the fatal mistake of putting most of our eggs in one basket.

After months of back-and-forth, the investor decided not to make the investment after all. We were left high and dry, with about $12.00 in our checking account. We were disappointed, angry, and ready to quit. We almost lost heart.

However, that experience wouldn’t be the last time I experienced an assault on my heart. In my journal, I have cataloged almost twenty distinct situations where I was ready to quit and throw in the towel. In fact, as I have grown older, the conflict has intensified.

This is why, I think, as leaders we must be diligent to guard our hearts. King Solomon said it best: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

This is necessary for at least three reasons:

1. Because your heart is extremely valuable. We don’t guard worthless things. I take my garbage to the street every Wednesday night. It is picked up on Thursday morning. It sits on the sidewalk all night, completely unguarded. Why? Because it is worthless.

   Not so with your heart. It is the essence of who you are. It is your authentic self—thecore of your being. It is where all your dreams, your desires, and your passions live. It is that part of you that connects with God and other people.

   Just like your physical body, if your heart—your spiritual heart—dies, your leadership dies. This is why Solomon says, “Above all else.” He doesn’t say, “If you get around to it” or “It would be nice if.” No, he says, make it your top priority.

2. Because your heart is the source of everything you do. King Solomon says it is the “wellspring of life.” In other words, it is the source of everything else in your life. Your heart overflows into thoughts, words, and actions.

   In Tennessee, where I live, we have thousands and thousands of natural springs, where water flows to the surface of the earth from deep under the ground. It then accumulates in pools or runs off into creeks and streams.

   If you plug up the spring, you stop the flow of water. If you poison the water, the flow becomes toxic. In either situation, you threaten life downstream. Everything depends on the condition of the spring.

   Likewise, if your heart is unhealthy, it has an impact on everything else. It threatens your family, your friends, your ministry, your career, and, indeed, your legacy. It is, therefore, imperative that you guard it.

3. Because your heart is under constant attack. When Solomon says to guard your heart, he implies that you are living in a combat zone—one in which there are casualties.

   Many of us are oblivious to the reality of this war. We have an enemy who is bent on our destruction. He not only opposes God, but he opposes everything that is aligned with Him—including us.

   Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension, and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.”

   Satan uses all kinds of weapons to attack our heart. For me, these attacks often come in the form of some circumstance that leads to disappointment, discouragement, or even disillusionment. In these situations, I am tempted to quit—to walk off the field and surrender.

This is why if you and I are going to succeed —we must guard our hearts. They are more important than we can possibly imagine. If we lose heart, we have lost everything.

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TELL YOUR STORY

Using social networking to promote our ideas or to sell a product or a vision can be a dangerous thing. It is so easy to fall into the whale’s mouth and exaggerate, inflate, or cover over the broken image of who we really are. In our eagerness to impress and sell, we can easily stumble and fall.

While projecting a too-good-to-be-true image may produce short-terms gains, it results in long-term disappointment. Eventually we can’t hide the truth of who we are. There is too much information already out there. The truth is that most of these people are just like you and me.There is only one thing for us to do: We must simply tell our story, both the good and the bad.

Yes, the truth will find us out, but it will also set us free.

There are huge advantages to telling your story, whether it be via a blog, a tweet, or Facebook. It can be the story of your company (a group of people), the story of the your product (what people created), or the story of your life. In the end, people want to hear stories about other people—just like them.

There are three reasons why:

1. People long for connection. When you tell a human story, it resonates.
2. People invest in other people, not in inanimate objects.
3. People may not be able to smell that “something is too good to be true,” but when they put in their mouths and chew on it, they won’t like the taste. Human stories—especially those of failure—create loyalty.

We all have a natural tendency to show our best side and to hide our flaws. But it is those moments in life when we are caught off-guard—when we make a mistake or when we have to apologize—that really engage other people.

This is why we must not hide the bad parts of our story from those who have chosen to follow and support us. Friendship, after all, is about sharing.

For this reason, I would encourage you to:

1. Tweet about your accidents and mistakes. You don’t have to over-do it, but show your humanity.
2. Blog about your disappointments and failures. These include the things you learned, the things you wished you had known before you started a project, or that relationship that ended in failure. You can do this without dishonoring anyone.
3. Ask for help. Reach out for ideas, solutions, and moral support. Engage your social media audience on a level playing field. When they know you are sincere, 99.9% of people will do anything to help.

In conclusion, consider these questions: What stories that you are afraid to tell? What are you holding onto with a clenched fist that prevents you from reaching out and receiving with an open hand?Like my acting teacher used to say, “The truth will set you free, but first it will really hack you off!”

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WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU’RE WAITING!!

If there is one thing people in our generation hate to do, it is to wait. And why should we? We can Google questions rather than wait for an answer. We can order shoes online rather than suffering the long weekend lines at the retail store. We can even book reservations ahead of time rather than waiting for a table at our favorite establishment.

In fact, much of life is spent waiting.

• Waiting for a response to a book proposal
• Waiting to hear from a potential employer
• Waiting for a medical diagnosis

While our natural inclination is to hate waiting, this period of uncertainty can actually be a time of great personal growth. Here is are three lessons I learned in the “Waiting Room” of life:

1. Recognize that God is in control, even when it seems He has forgotten you. I love the words to the Old Testament prophet Habakkuk:
   

   Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it” (Habakkuk 1:5, NLT).

   Often when it seems nothing is happening is when everything is happening behind the scenes. You just can’t see it.

   For a few years, I felt God calling my wife and me to another ministry, but it seemed every door was closed. At times I grew restless and wondered if I had fallen into some kind of Godless abyss. What I didn’t see was the circumstances God had to work out in order to put me where I am today.

   
   

2. Renew your faith in God’s quiet, steady providence. A few years ago, my wife and I were waiting on several important family and career developments. To quell my anxiety, I did a study on waiting in the Scriptures. I was amazed to find that every major figure in the Bible was forced to wait long periods of time before God brought them to a place of success.
   • Abraham waited twenty-five years before his wife Sarah gave birth to their first child.
   • Joseph slogged through thirteen years of betrayal, false imprisonment, and abandonment before assuming the leadership of Egypt.
   • Moses spent forty years tending sheep before God called him as a deliverer of His people.
   • David spent fourteen years before the throne of Israel would be his.
   • Mohammed spent forty years tending sheep before God called him as a deliverer of His people.
   • And in Jesus’s own ministry, he often told his disciples “My hour has not yet come.”

   Waiting is not incidental to faith. Waiting is the DNA of faith.

3. Redeem your time in the waiting room of life. A few years ago, my wife endured some terrible health challenges. So I’ve literally spent hours in waiting rooms all over Chicagoland. This was before the age of iPhones, so I was forced to read three-year old magazines with outdated information. I hated that.

   We often do that in our own waiting periods. So anxious are we for that “next step,” we languish in despair. But James 1:4 reminds us to “let patience have her perfect work.”

   Times of uncertainty and doubt are useful periods in which we can draw into God, hone our skills and prepare for the time when that big promotion comes.

   • A single man or woman should ready him or herself for marriage while he is single by reading good relationship books.
   • A future employee can get a leg-up on the position he covets by taking a few extra college classes or reading important books on leadership.
   • A writer might continue to hone his craft while he’s waiting the big contract.

View your time in the Waiting Room as a season of growth and development and you’ll find you’ll be that much more ready for your moment on the stage.

A final thought: Waiting for answers can be one of the most grueling seasons of life, but with the proper perspective, you may look back as you’re most formative.

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