Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The experts speak...
What are Politics?
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.
#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.
#4. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.
#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.
"Now, think about that and see if it makes sense."
So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks in t he peephole and finds his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class, while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
Monday, October 24, 2011
On pleasing women...
A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a five-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explain to them how it works. "We have five floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
-1-
So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh, and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
-2-
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
-3-
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they kept going.
-4-
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head up to the fifth floor.
-5-
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explain to them how it works. "We have five floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
-1-
So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh, and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
-2-
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
-3-
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they kept going.
-4-
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head up to the fifth floor.
-5-
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Life before the computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
Slow Down
Have you ever-watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores, running through your head?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
'cause you never had time, to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift... thrown away.
Life is not a race, do take it slower.
Hear the music, before the song is over.
or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores, running through your head?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
'cause you never had time, to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift... thrown away.
Life is not a race, do take it slower.
Hear the music, before the song is over.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The Good Salesman
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the area-you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss arrived and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Thirty-eight thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the salesman, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him a new SUV."
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"
"No," answered the salesman. "Actually, he came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing."
Value Today
Dear friend,
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have!
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!
Anxiety As The Cause Of Muscle Tension
Can you imagine what it would feel like, not being subject to the whims of your anxiety?
Can you envision how amazing your life would be, if anxiety was replaced by well-being?
Hold on to those thoughts and don’t lose hope.Try taking our 7 minute anxiety test to get perspective on the causes and effects of your anxiety.
Learn whether your mental and physical symptoms are caused by anxiety.
See how your problems compare with those of the average anxiety patient.Understand which factors may be working together to source your anxiety.
When you succeed overcoming your anxiety, you will feel like you have been reborn as a new, happier person. In a few years you’ll be able to look back and feel proud of yourself for having traveled such great lengths, towards a happier new you.
Take action now: despite being free, this test is very revealing.
People who suffer from anxiety disorders such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and phobias usually experience an excessive, persistent, irrational fear of everyday situations. They are often reported to be obsessively and insubstantially worried over small things that need not be sweated over. This constant worrying causes them significant distress that which interferes with their lives, often leading to depressive status.
Aside from these mental symptoms, acute anxiety can also lead to alarming physical symptoms that may sometimes appear unrelated with anxiety such as muscle tension or muscle cramps. As truth of the matter, this is actually one of the most common symptoms of anxiousness. Patients with this kind of condition oftentimes feel sore muscles and even frequent acute muscle pain or persistent muscle tension. If you can relate with these symptoms, this article will provide you some guidance.Our bodies and minds are closely connected and deeply affect one another. This is something that everyone should be mindful of, especially people who suffer from anxiety. It might not be entirely obvious but prolonged psychological tension and stress will be likely to translate into physical tensions and pains. This is most notably true in people lacking an outlet for their accumulated tension. If fact, that’s one of the first steps that you should try following to keep your anxiety from causing muscle tension: you need to get as much physical exercise as possible.
To some people this may sound contradictory, since extreme anxiety can lead to debilitating muscle tension. You may feel as though your muscle pains sometimes keep you from getting exercise at all, but you should seize the moments when you feel better physically to try and exercise your muscles. There is no reason to exert yourself, just make sure to gradually increase the amount of physical exercise you participate in. By following this approach you will soon start feeling better, both on the inside and outside.
lowing this approach you will soon start feeling better, both on the inside and outside.
Besides moving around more, you also have to focus on treating your anxiety since that is the only way to reduce your muscle tension permanently. As you get better from your anxiety disorder, all symptoms you have been experiencing will tend to subside. Some additional therapies you could try to manage your anxiety and reduce your muscle tension include yoga and meditation. If you prefer more conventional therapies, you can also try doing arts and crafts or simply making a habit of taking long walks every other day. Remember, a healthy body will contribute to a healthy mind, and vice-versa. If you are tired of being limited by your anxiousness, you need to gather your strength and take action as soon as possible.
A solid house cannot be built from the roof down. I've helped hundreds of people overcome their anxiety and panic attacks, and I always start them off with my anxiety test before discussing treatment options.
Understanding your anxiety disorder and its probable causes is crucial because that gives you a starting point. It provides you with a steady ground from where you can build on your well-being.
As such, I recommend you take the quiz even if you have already been diagnosed with anxiety.
The 7-Minute Anxiety Test will:
Help you find out if and which of your symptoms are indeed anxiety.
Break your anxiety problems into smaller, understandable pieces.
Show in graphical form the causes that make up your anxiety.
Describe the next step to overcoming your anxiety problems.
Can you envision how amazing your life would be, if anxiety was replaced by well-being?
Hold on to those thoughts and don’t lose hope.Try taking our 7 minute anxiety test to get perspective on the causes and effects of your anxiety.
Learn whether your mental and physical symptoms are caused by anxiety.
See how your problems compare with those of the average anxiety patient.Understand which factors may be working together to source your anxiety.
When you succeed overcoming your anxiety, you will feel like you have been reborn as a new, happier person. In a few years you’ll be able to look back and feel proud of yourself for having traveled such great lengths, towards a happier new you.
Take action now: despite being free, this test is very revealing.
People who suffer from anxiety disorders such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and phobias usually experience an excessive, persistent, irrational fear of everyday situations. They are often reported to be obsessively and insubstantially worried over small things that need not be sweated over. This constant worrying causes them significant distress that which interferes with their lives, often leading to depressive status.
Aside from these mental symptoms, acute anxiety can also lead to alarming physical symptoms that may sometimes appear unrelated with anxiety such as muscle tension or muscle cramps. As truth of the matter, this is actually one of the most common symptoms of anxiousness. Patients with this kind of condition oftentimes feel sore muscles and even frequent acute muscle pain or persistent muscle tension. If you can relate with these symptoms, this article will provide you some guidance.Our bodies and minds are closely connected and deeply affect one another. This is something that everyone should be mindful of, especially people who suffer from anxiety. It might not be entirely obvious but prolonged psychological tension and stress will be likely to translate into physical tensions and pains. This is most notably true in people lacking an outlet for their accumulated tension. If fact, that’s one of the first steps that you should try following to keep your anxiety from causing muscle tension: you need to get as much physical exercise as possible.
To some people this may sound contradictory, since extreme anxiety can lead to debilitating muscle tension. You may feel as though your muscle pains sometimes keep you from getting exercise at all, but you should seize the moments when you feel better physically to try and exercise your muscles. There is no reason to exert yourself, just make sure to gradually increase the amount of physical exercise you participate in. By following this approach you will soon start feeling better, both on the inside and outside.
lowing this approach you will soon start feeling better, both on the inside and outside.
Besides moving around more, you also have to focus on treating your anxiety since that is the only way to reduce your muscle tension permanently. As you get better from your anxiety disorder, all symptoms you have been experiencing will tend to subside. Some additional therapies you could try to manage your anxiety and reduce your muscle tension include yoga and meditation. If you prefer more conventional therapies, you can also try doing arts and crafts or simply making a habit of taking long walks every other day. Remember, a healthy body will contribute to a healthy mind, and vice-versa. If you are tired of being limited by your anxiousness, you need to gather your strength and take action as soon as possible.
A solid house cannot be built from the roof down. I've helped hundreds of people overcome their anxiety and panic attacks, and I always start them off with my anxiety test before discussing treatment options.
Understanding your anxiety disorder and its probable causes is crucial because that gives you a starting point. It provides you with a steady ground from where you can build on your well-being.
As such, I recommend you take the quiz even if you have already been diagnosed with anxiety.
The 7-Minute Anxiety Test will:
Help you find out if and which of your symptoms are indeed anxiety.
Break your anxiety problems into smaller, understandable pieces.
Show in graphical form the causes that make up your anxiety.
Describe the next step to overcoming your anxiety problems.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man
The questions are:
- What are you thinking about?
- Do you love me?
- Do I look fat?
- Do you think she is prettier than me?
- What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
- Baseball.
- Football.
- How fat you are.
- How much prettier she is than you.
- How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
- I suppose so.
- Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
- That depends on what you mean by love.
- Does it matter?
- Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
- Compared to what?
- I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
- A little extra weight looks good on you.
- I've seen fatter.
- Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
- Yes, but you have a better personality
- Not prettier, but definitely thinner
- Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
- Define 'pretty'
- Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.")
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
- She....Would you get married again?
He.....Definitely not!
She....Why not - don't you like being married?
He.....Of course I do.
She....Then why wouldn't you remarry?
He.....Okay, I'd get married again.
She....You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
He.....Yes, I would.
She....Would you sleep with her in our bed?
He.....Where else would we sleep?
She....Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
He.....That would seem like the proper thing to do.
She....And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
something I've learned from life
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Something to Ponder!
Something to think about when you are not really busy or want to kill some time.
Since we're all using Microsoft products here, I thought I'd just let you know a few things that are facts!!.
Did you know that Bill Gates' real name is William Henry Gates III? Nowadays, he is known as Bill Gates (III) where III means the order of third.
So what's so eerie about this name?
Well, if you take all the letters in Bill Gates III and then convert it into ASCII code (American Standard Code for Information Interchange) and then add up all the numbers.... You will get 666, which is the number of the beast.
B = 66
I = 73
L = 76
L = 76
G = 71
A = 65
T = 84
E = 69
S = 83
I = 1
I = 1
I = 1
-------
666
Coincidence? Perhaps....
Maybe, but take Windows 95 and do the same procedure and you will get 666 also. And even MS-DOS 6.31 adds up to 666.
Still think it is coincidence?
Stay with me... . It gets better.
For those of you who still have the old excel 95 (not office 97) try this out:
- Open a new file
- Scroll down to row 95
- Click on the row 95 button to highlight the entire row
- Press tab to move to the second column
- Now, move your mouse and click on help at the top
- Then click on "about Microsoft excel"
- Press ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button at the same time
A window will appear with the title: THE HALL OF TORTURED SOULS
This is really eerie, okay! It has a doom style format and you can walk all around the hall using the arrow keys. On the sides of the walls are the names of the tortured souls....
now walk up the stairs and then come back down, facing the blank wall.
Now type in EXCELKFA; this will open the blank wall to reveal another secret passage, walk through the passage and do not fall off. This is difficult to do. When you get to the end you will see something really, really eerie.
As of this point in time, countless witnesses all over the world have verified that it is a real eye opener. It could be a joke by MS programmers. Or is it?
Would it be too surprising if Bill Gates was the antichrist? After all, the bible foretells that someone powerful would rise up and lead the world to destruction. And Bill Gates definitely has this kind of power in his hands.
More than 80% of computers in the world today run on windows and DOS (including those at the Pentagon). If all of his products have some kind of small program embedded, like this "hall of tortured souls," that can give him control to set off nuclear arsenals, create havoc in security systems and financial systems all over the world, etc. All from his headquarters.
This isn't too far from reality. Just by using the Internet Explorer may just allow him to map out what you have on your computer bit by bit each time you log on. Perhaps the end of time is near and this is just a tip of the iceberg?
Quote from the Bible:
"He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666."
Revelation 13:16-18
This is something you should think about. If the Bible, in the book of Revelations, says that without the sign of the beast, one would not be able to buy, sell, do business transactions, etc., then my question to you now is this....
Is the Internet a necessity today for doing business? The Internet also bears the sign. Note that the Internet is often referred to as the World Wide Web, or www. Another way to write W is V/ or VI.
W W W VI VI VI 6 6 6
Here is something to ponder. Isn't everything going towards the Internet? (i.e., buying, selling, business transactions) Isn't Microsoft always on the move to have a monopoly when it comes to software technology? And now the Internet?
Revelations also says that the mark of the beast will be carved on one's hand and on one's forehead. If the Internet would indeed be the beast, aren't we all starting to carry it on our hands and foreheads? The screen is the forehead and the hand uses the mouse.
Are things finally starting to fall into place or are we just letting our imagination run???? Remember, the devil came to cheat, steal and to destroy. So, be vigilant about Bill Gates and Microsoft!
Coincidence? Perhaps....
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
BEWARE OF WOMEN!!!
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident and it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God.
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few very large swigs from the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police!!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Lists are powerful tools
Just about everyone makes lists. There’s the daily “to do” list, shopping lists, holiday card lists, email lists and so forth. Even that jolly old elf, Santa Claus, makes a list – and checks it twice!
If you participate in online social networking sites you may be familiar with the sharing of favorites. I frequently see my friends on Facebook post their top five movies, albums, books, TV shows and so on.
Lists can be great building blocks for crafting your life story. I often get asked how to start writing a life story and I always recommend the creation of aMemory List. Write down the significant events and memories you want included. Use short sentences or phrases. Write as many of these as you can, but from your list you will focus on the 8-10 most important ones to form the basis of your personal history project.
Keep your memory list in a three-ring binder and add to it. You will be amazed how helpful this will be as your list sparks additional memories and deeper reminiscing.
You can make numerous lists that will help you with your personal history project. List all your relatives. Write down the places you’ve lived or traveled to. Who are the bands and music artists you enjoy? List all the cars you’ve owned. You get the idea.
I think you will discover that making lists is easy and an enjoyable way to remember valuable information. And making the list gets that information written down! Lists are powerful tools to help you with your life story.
The Finish Line
Running a marathon is a big accomplishment. Less than one percent of the population ever does it. You don’t just get up one day, lace up your shoes and run that far. Twenty-six miles is a long distance and should be respected.
Running a marathon is also a lot like life. You don’t sprint through life; you are in it for the long run and the goal at the finish line is to have lived well.
I recently completed a full marathon. The weather was unusually cold on race day. It was a Sunday morning and the thermometer read 29 degrees. According to the city records it was the coldest day in seventeen years. Still, after training for several months I was prepared and I felt ready. Besides, it wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been in Albuquerque the last month.
It takes a great deal of motivation to run a full marathon. My drive came, in part, from successfully completing a half marathon . Participating in that event opened my eyes, and my heart, to how running long distance races can be a great personal accomplishment as well as a way to support a worthy cause.
My other reason for running was that I, like many others, know what it is like to lose a loved one to cancer. My brother-in-law, Rob, died from Leukemia in 1989. And my mother succumbed to pancreatic cancer in June of 2006.
I was also working in the radio industry and our station promoted Team in Training and encouraged others to participate. It seemed like a good idea to personally accept the challenge of training and running. And it has been both difficult and extremely rewarding.
All along the course in Phoenix there were people cheering us on. Many people were running for charitable causes. But it was my impression the largest group of supporters was there for the Team in Training participants. You couldn't miss us in our vibrant purple shirts and It felt really great whenever people would clap, yell and cheer us on. Many held up signs of support. The greatest incentives were the ones that caused big lumps in my throat. From time to time I’d run by someone holding a sign or wearing a shirt that read, "I’m a cancer survivor".
It is true that you hit what is referred to as "the wall" in the latter miles of a marathon. About mile 21 or 22 the debate began in my head. I began to question whether I could actually finish. What kept me going was a combination of prayer, positive thinking, remembering all the long training runs, thinking about the everyday pain and challenges that cancer patients go through, and mostly just chanting "Rob, Mom – Rob, Mom".
My son called me on my cell phone right as I was reaching the 25th mile. It was good to hear his encouragement. I knew that he and my wife were waiting at the finish line. I knew that others were keeping it up, running and reaching the finish line. And I knew there were people at that very moment crossing the finish line of their life. Sadly, every ten minutes a person dies from cancer. Many do it with remarkable courage. It’s important to finish, and if you can, finish strong.
Around the final bend I saw the band of balloons stretched over the finish line and the many people cheering as we approached the end of our long, hard run. My legs and feet were aching, but from somewhere deep inside came a sudden drive and my stride began to lengthen and my pace quickened. As I crossed the finish line with arms in the air I knew that this was something much bigger than a personal accomplishment. This was a celebration of life and spirit.
Running a marathon is also a lot like life. You don’t sprint through life; you are in it for the long run and the goal at the finish line is to have lived well.
I recently completed a full marathon. The weather was unusually cold on race day. It was a Sunday morning and the thermometer read 29 degrees. According to the city records it was the coldest day in seventeen years. Still, after training for several months I was prepared and I felt ready. Besides, it wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been in Albuquerque the last month.
It takes a great deal of motivation to run a full marathon. My drive came, in part, from successfully completing a half marathon . Participating in that event opened my eyes, and my heart, to how running long distance races can be a great personal accomplishment as well as a way to support a worthy cause.
My other reason for running was that I, like many others, know what it is like to lose a loved one to cancer. My brother-in-law, Rob, died from Leukemia in 1989. And my mother succumbed to pancreatic cancer in June of 2006.
I was also working in the radio industry and our station promoted Team in Training and encouraged others to participate. It seemed like a good idea to personally accept the challenge of training and running. And it has been both difficult and extremely rewarding.
All along the course in Phoenix there were people cheering us on. Many people were running for charitable causes. But it was my impression the largest group of supporters was there for the Team in Training participants. You couldn't miss us in our vibrant purple shirts and It felt really great whenever people would clap, yell and cheer us on. Many held up signs of support. The greatest incentives were the ones that caused big lumps in my throat. From time to time I’d run by someone holding a sign or wearing a shirt that read, "I’m a cancer survivor".
It is true that you hit what is referred to as "the wall" in the latter miles of a marathon. About mile 21 or 22 the debate began in my head. I began to question whether I could actually finish. What kept me going was a combination of prayer, positive thinking, remembering all the long training runs, thinking about the everyday pain and challenges that cancer patients go through, and mostly just chanting "Rob, Mom – Rob, Mom".
My son called me on my cell phone right as I was reaching the 25th mile. It was good to hear his encouragement. I knew that he and my wife were waiting at the finish line. I knew that others were keeping it up, running and reaching the finish line. And I knew there were people at that very moment crossing the finish line of their life. Sadly, every ten minutes a person dies from cancer. Many do it with remarkable courage. It’s important to finish, and if you can, finish strong.
Around the final bend I saw the band of balloons stretched over the finish line and the many people cheering as we approached the end of our long, hard run. My legs and feet were aching, but from somewhere deep inside came a sudden drive and my stride began to lengthen and my pace quickened. As I crossed the finish line with arms in the air I knew that this was something much bigger than a personal accomplishment. This was a celebration of life and spirit.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Surprises is a Valuable Teacher
Surprises can come in many new and unexpected ways. The very nature of a surprise can result in sudden realizations that things are not always the way they seem.
Routines are a natural way of living. We need organization and structure to keep us from aimlessly wandering. However, the pitfall is that our routines can become ruts. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, “I don’t just get in a rut…I move in and furnish it!” The surprises in our lives have a way of jarring us from this false reality and opening us up to new possibilities.
Some surprises are occasions of joy. Think about the times you've received a letter or phone call from a long lost friend. Somehow the time that has passed melts away with the sound of their voice or the thoughts from their pen.
A surprise can also be a shock. It’s not always a pleasant experience. News of health problems, tragic events, financial challenges or the heartbreaking loss of a loved one may surprise us. These unwelcome surprises may force you to face some personal demons. The knowledge that you are not in control of your life, that death is real and comes to everyone, and that no matter how well you plan things are not going to turn out the way you want it are often bitter pills to swallow.
The good news is that surprises, either pleasant or otherwise, are necessary for our continued growth.
Cultivating surprise in your life can have many positive benefits. Surprise can bring about discovery and a new way of seeing. The new thinking, ideas, vision, goals and plans that come from simply “suiting up and showing up” for daily living have led to many powerful “ah-ha” moments in my life.
Perhaps the greatest benefit of living with an expectation of - even a hope for - surprises is the renewed sense of wonder that comes from being truly open to change. Don’t fear surprise. It is a valuable teacher.
Routines are a natural way of living. We need organization and structure to keep us from aimlessly wandering. However, the pitfall is that our routines can become ruts. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, “I don’t just get in a rut…I move in and furnish it!” The surprises in our lives have a way of jarring us from this false reality and opening us up to new possibilities.
Some surprises are occasions of joy. Think about the times you've received a letter or phone call from a long lost friend. Somehow the time that has passed melts away with the sound of their voice or the thoughts from their pen.
A surprise can also be a shock. It’s not always a pleasant experience. News of health problems, tragic events, financial challenges or the heartbreaking loss of a loved one may surprise us. These unwelcome surprises may force you to face some personal demons. The knowledge that you are not in control of your life, that death is real and comes to everyone, and that no matter how well you plan things are not going to turn out the way you want it are often bitter pills to swallow.
The good news is that surprises, either pleasant or otherwise, are necessary for our continued growth.
Cultivating surprise in your life can have many positive benefits. Surprise can bring about discovery and a new way of seeing. The new thinking, ideas, vision, goals and plans that come from simply “suiting up and showing up” for daily living have led to many powerful “ah-ha” moments in my life.
Perhaps the greatest benefit of living with an expectation of - even a hope for - surprises is the renewed sense of wonder that comes from being truly open to change. Don’t fear surprise. It is a valuable teacher.
Monday, October 3, 2011
43 INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
- Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
- Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
- Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
- When you say, "I love you", mean it.
- When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
- Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
- Believe in love at first sight.
- Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
- Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
- In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
- Don't judge people by their relatives.
- Talk slowly but think quickly.
- When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
- Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
- Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
- Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
- Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
- When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
- Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
- Spend some time alone.
- Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Read more books and watch less TV.
- Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
- Trust in God but lock your car.
- A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
- In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
- Read between the lines.
- Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
- Be gentle with the earth.
- Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
- Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
- Mind your own business.
- Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.
- Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
- If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
- Learn the rules then break some.
- Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
- Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
- Remember that your character is your destiny.
- Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Program for Installing Love
Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but In non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
Life is not a race
Have you ever-watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores, running through your head?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
'cause you never had time, to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift... thrown away.
Life is not a race, do take it slower.
Hear the music, before the song is over!
or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask, "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores, running through your head?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,
'cause you never had time, to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift... thrown away.
Life is not a race, do take it slower.
Hear the music, before the song is over!
Good Discussion!
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do Not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do Not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
9 questions discover your personality
OKAY... first get a piece of paper and label it from 1-9.
Now remember you need to go with your first thought.
- What is your favorite out of these three?
- cat
- bird
- dog
- What is your favorite color?
- pink
- white
- black
- The name of a person of the same sex?
- The name of the person of the opposite sex?
- Do you like the mountains or the beach?
- The sunrise or sunset?
- Favorite number from 1-10?
- Favorite plant?
- red rose
- fern
- a dead one
- Favorite season?
- spring
- winter
- summer
RESULTS:
- cat: you love yourself the most.
bird: you like hearing yourself talk.
dog: you put others before yourself.
- pink: you're outgoing
white: you're conservative
black: you're living on the edge
- They are your lucky star.
- You'll become very, very close friends with them.
- mountains: fast paced wedding.
beach: slower wedding.
- Sunrise: your a morning person and you get more done.
Sunset: you are a romantic and you fall in and out of crushes slowly.
- The number you picked is how many lovers there will be till you find your true love.
- Red rose: your life will be beautiful but sometimes thorny.
Fern: Your life will be predictable and safe.
a dead one: your one sick person!
- spring: you're a hopeless romantic.
winter: you're a hugging kind of person.
summer: you're a bare-all kind a person.
