Monday, January 30, 2012

WHAT THE INTERNET IS DOING TO OUR BRAINS

T he debate about the future of book publishing is largely focused on two questions: First, how will books be sold (bricks and mortar vs. the Internet)? And, second, how will the content be delivered (traditional bound books vs. digital)? Both of these issues are, of course, being driven by the new realities made possible via the Internet.
But I think something even more profound is happening. While the Internet is shaping how we read, it is also shaping how we think.

In a recent issue of Atlantic Monthly (July/August 2008), Nicholas Carr asks, “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” He then goes on to describe what the Internet is doing to our brains. This is a must-read for anyone in the book publishing industry.

He says,

Over the past few years I’ve had an uncomfortable sense that someone, or something, has been tinkering with my brain, remapping the neural circuitry, reprogramming the memory. My mind isn’t going—so far as I can tell—but it’s changing. I’m not thinking the way I used to think. I can feel it most strongly when I’m reading. Immersing myself in a book or a lengthy article used to be easy. My mind would get caught up in the narrative or the turns of the argument, and I’d spend hours strolling through long stretches of prose. That’s rarely the case anymore. Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages. I get fidgety, lose the thread, begin looking for something else to do. I feel as if I’m always dragging my wayward brain back to the text. The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle.”

I can definitely relate to this. Something is happening to me, too. I am finding it increasingly difficult to focus when I read books or even long articles.

Carr notes that he no longer really reads. He just skims:

And what the Net seems to be doing is chipping away my capacity for concentration and contemplation. My mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles. Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.”

He goes on to say that it’s not just reading. Something is happening to our brains:

When the Net absorbs a medium, that medium is re-created in the Net’s image. It injects the medium’s content with hyperlinks, blinking ads, and other digital gewgaws, and it surrounds the content with the content of all the other media it has absorbed. A new e-mail message, for instance, may announce its arrival as we’re glancing over the latest headlines at a newspaper’s site. The result is to scatter our attention and diffuse our concentration.”

What does this mean for book publishing? I don’t know. But I do think Carr is onto something significant. If he is right, then how books are sold and delivered are the least of our worries.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Four Ways Women Can Influence Men

This is a guest post by Lisa Whittle, an author, speaker, and blogger. She is also active on Twitter and Facebook.

Becoming the first ever solo-female author under the acclaimed George Barna literary imprint intimidated me. Can I influence men? Can I play in the boy’s field? I had all these thoughts when I was offered a contract for this new writing project।

Until this time, my “tribe” consisted mainly of women. Although I am a strong woman, I was not sure I could adapt my leadership style in order to connect with men. Thankfully, I have.

In the intervening months, I have learned four tactics:

  1. Understand men’s need for brevity. I learned very quickly in working with men that I would need to find a way to say a lot in a few words। (You might think that being married, I would have already known this.) But the reality is that females tend to be wordy. Men cut to the chase. If I was going to be successful in influencing men, I needed to respect their need for brevity.
  2. Connect to a universal need. While we do not share gender, we do share many other human needs। We both search for significance. We both have a need to define ourselves outside of our roles. We both desire to be loved and appreciated. Connecting to a universal need is an important aspect of influence—with both genders. But it is especially as it relates to women influencing men.
  3. Don’t apologize for your growing influence. More than ever, women are becoming influencers in less traditional venues. The church is even using women in a vibrant, new way. It is an exciting opportunity for women to use their unique voice to share truth. Men who embrace this will benefit, just as the women who embrace it will. But first, women have to own their growing influence, without apologizing for it.
  4. Show them truth from your life. Regardless of their gender, when women offer truth from the wellspring of their own life experience, it resonates. Truth is truth. Therefore, being more intentional about sharing our life experiences is a way to expand our influence and connect in a meaningful way.

Women have been influencing men for years, in society as well as in the home. But it is my conviction that in the coming years, I believe this will only grow. The key for women is to learn how best to translate that influence to reach both women and men.

When that happens, everyone wins.

A Responsive Person

Unresponsive people drive me crazy। I hate sending an email to someone and then waiting days to hear anything back. (Admittedly, I have sometimes been guilty of this myself.) This is particularly maddening when you don’t hear anything at all.

Recently I was interviewing candidates to be my virtual assistant. One of the questions I asked was this: “Do you consider yourself a responsive person?” For me, this is अ मुस्त हवे अत्त्रिबुते. Naturally, everyone says, “yes.” However, you can tell a lot by how they answer the question.One virtual assistant replied with a very smart question of his own: “What is your definition of responsive?” Brilliant. I suddenly realized that I had never really stopped to define this for anyone who worked for me. I assumed there was one standard and everyone knew it.

The truth is that I don’t need to demonstrate the level of responsiveness to everyone. Furthermore, I don’t need everyone I interact with to demonstrate the same level of responsiveness toward me. What I do need to do is express my expectations.

Here are four actions you need to take to make sure your expectations and those you deal with are calibrated।


  1. Define how responsive you are going to be. Segment your contacts. Who is your inner circle? What about the next level out? What about acquaintances? What about complete strangers? I have a different standard for each. I don’t think I need to tell them; I just operate by these standards.
  2. Determine how responsive others need you to be. If you acquire a new client, a boss, or a business partner, ask them to clarify their expectations. How quickly do they need you to respond? Does it need to be immediate? within a few hours? within 24 hours? in a couple of days? Ask them to be specific. This is an implicit contract.
  3. Express how responsive you want others to be. Take the initiative to clarify this with your direct reports, business associates, and vendors. It will result in less frustration for both of you. It also provides the necessary accountability to make progress on your various projects.
  4. Be proactive when you can’t respond in a timely manner. If the other person has to follow-up, it’s a good sign your expectations are mismatched or you dropped the ball। Instead of waiting for them to ask again, contact them. For example, “I just wanted to acknowledge that I received your email. I am traveling this week, so it will likely be the end of the week before I can respond.”

What Really Keeps a Marriage Together?

For the last eight months I’ve been seeing a thirty-something male client who is a month away from his divorce being final। He is relieved that this painful experience is almost over, but he is also very sad. He’s grieving the marriage that he wanted to have—the one that he wishes they would have had together.

By the way, this tells me he is dealing with his divorce in a healthy manner. I never trust anyone if they tell me they have no sadness about their marriage ending and that they are simply glad that it is over. Marriages are investments and we are always sad when an investment goes belly up.

So he sits down a couple of weeks ago and right off the bat tells me that he has a question that he desperately needs answered. He tells me that his future depends on it, and that he is afraid because he isn’t able to answer this question.

He asks me what “type” of love keeps a marriage together since their kind obviously didn’t do the trick. I remember sitting for a couple of minutes before answering.

In that time I considered my own marriage of almost 18 years, the countless couples I have seen as a therapist, what messages the Church and my upbringing taught, and the dozens of books I’ve read on the subject over the years। I surprised myself by sharing with him the following ideas.


First, I told him that I used to think that agape was the most important kind of love for a marriage. But no longer. This Greek word suggests that a spiritual love is the number one priority—a love that is sacrificial and focused on commitment more than feelings or your own needs. After all, haven’t we all heard more sermons than we could count where this was the bottom line?

Don’t get me wrong, I told him, agape is very important in keeping a marriage together. But not the “most” important kind of love. Many couples have intact marriages but no relationship at all and are living under the stoic belief that happiness isn’t even a possibility.

Secondly, I said that eros is really wonderful but that it doesn’t “keep” a marriage together either. We all love passion. We all want there to be chemistry. We all dream about great sex that will keep us interested over the years.

Our culture is so sex-obsessed that we are easily convinced (especially early in a marriage) that the lucky ones can’t stay out of the bedroom. This is the secret to a long relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, “feeling” in love with your partner is very critical। Too many accept a relationship that is boring and no longer has any passion. Eros can be restored and must be worked at over the life of a marriage.

By this time he knew where I was going. I found myself telling him that based on my marriage and the successful ones I’ve seen over the years that philia was most important. Committment and chemistry are ingredients you don’t want to leave out of the recipe but without friendship you can’t bake the cake!

To be friends with your mate means:

  • You respect her.
  • You treat her like your equal when your upbringing and your own selfish ways try to convince you otherwise.
  • You talk about how you feel and think about the good and bad of your life together.
  • You even risk conflict by being more honest than you are comfortable with because it builds intimacy into your marriage.
  • You plan and dream together because life is too complicated to just wing it.

In other words, you treat your partner like your “best” friend।

Sadly, like so many people, what my client never had with his former wife was friendship. He said nobody ever told him it was the most important thing! In fact they even had the other two ingredients the majority of the time.

As our session continued, a big smile came over his face as we continued to talk about how exciting it could be to have a best friend in your wife. He said he was growing hopeful as he sat there thinking about this new possibility for the future.

I hope what I told him is realistic and not too pie in the sky. All I know is that next month I will have been married 18 years to my best friend. Thank God for friendship!


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

WHAT SHOULD YOU LOOK FOR IN THE PEOPLE YOU HIRE?

Most leaders I’ve met want to build a high-performance organization. Instinctively, they know that this requires great people. But few of them have ever taken the time to define exactly what they are looking for when it comes to the ideal candidate.

Good leaders begin the recruiting process with a written job description. This generally includes the required educational experience and technical skills. But great leaders need to do more than this. They must take a step back and look at the baseline qualities of the candidate.


They should ask,

What kind of prospective employees are we trying to attract to our organization?
What kind of people will it take to get the results we want and others expect?
What kind of people do we want to surround ourselves with?
What kind of people will contribute to the culture we are trying to build?
“Warm bodies” are obviously not enough. “Better-than-average” won’t get you there either. Even “really good people” are insufficient. You need higher standards if you are going to achieve your mission.

As I have thought about this, I have reduced these high standards to a sort of formula: “H3S.”

I want to fill my company with people who are humble, honest, hungry, and smart. The “h” in the word “high” represents the first three attributes. The “s” in the word “standards” represents the last attribute. All are equally important, but let me expound on each of them separately.

For simplicity sake, I’m going to use the masculine pronoun below, but it should be understood that the ideal candidate may, of course, be either a man or a woman. Gender is irrelevant.

HUMBLE

A humble person has a good sense of himself. He doesn’t think more highly of himself than he should (pride), nor lower of himself than he ought (poor self-esteem). He is sober-minded, having a realistic grip on his strengths and weaknesses.

He does not exhibit self-ambition. He might be ambitious for the cause, for the company, or for the team, but he is not ambitious for himself. He isn’t overly-concerned about his title, his status, or his position relative to others.

In conversation, he assumes the posture of a learner. He doesn’t pretend that he knows it all or even more than he does. It would certainly never cross his mind to assume that he is the “smartest person in the room.”

He respects other points of view and asks questions to make sure that he understands the other position before criticizing it. He makes other people feel smart and competent.

He is other-centered, no matter who the other person is. He acknowledges “the little people,” those that are easily overlooked by everyone else. He values them and treats them as peers.

Whenever I hire an executive, I always like to take him or her to dinner. I am always interested to see how he treats the hostess, the waiters, and even the busboys. Is he curt? Is he demanding or brusque? Does he treat them with dignity? Is he appreciative? Does he even notice them?

I am always leery of people who “suck-up” to people they want something from and disrespect everyone else. There’s no explaining it away. This is a character flaw. I don’t want someone like this working in my organization. I have no patience for it.

A humble person is open to correction and not defensive. He is quick to admit mistakes and apologize.Everyone makes mistakes. The truly humble know how to make it right. Usually, they have had plenty of practice.

He is conscious of the contributions others have made to his life, his projects, and his career. He is quick to give credit to them and express sincere gratitude. Conversely, when others compliment him, he offers a simple “thank you,” without making a big fuss about it.

Finally, he does not consider certain jobs “beneath him.” He sees what needs to be done, pitches in, and is just happy to be part of the team.

HONEST

Honesty is telling the truth—in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words—in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life” (pp. 195–196).

When I use the term “honesty,” I am referring to both honesty and integrity.

At the most basic level, an honest person does not lie. He does not exaggerate or misrepresent the facts. “Spin control” is a foreign concept. So is bragging. If anything, he is given to understatement, especially about his own accomplishments.

He does not withhold negative information. He gives you “the good, the bad, and the ugly.” He has the courage to face reality head-on and make his words conform to it. He would never ask someone else to lie on his behalf or to cover for him.

He is also honest in giving others feedback. He is able to be direct without being hurtful. He doesn’t create unnecessary drama. He doesn’t say anything about those who are absent that he wouldn’t say if they were present.

Finally, an honest person keeps his commitments, even when it is difficult, expensive, or inconvenient. If he said he would do it, he does it. You can take it to the bank.

Early in my career, I was able to land the job as a marketing director at one of the larger publishing houses. The only problem was that I didn’t have any experience. None!

So, my new boss put me on a kind of “90-day probationary period.” He said, “Look, I think you will do fine, but let’s agree to a 90-day trial run. If everything goes as planned, I will give you a raise equal to 10% of your annual salary. If not, we’ll shake hands and part company as friends.” I enthusiastically agreed, rolled up my sleeves, and got to work.

Knowing that this was an enormous opportunity, I read everything I could on marketing. I worked hard. I got to the office early and left late. I was determined to prove to my boss that he had made the right decision.

At the end of the 90-day period, I was actually looking forward to my review. I knew I had exceeded his expectations. I was confident I would get the raise.


My boss called me into his office. After the usual pleasantries, he said, “Mike, you have done an outstanding job. You have exceeded my expectations in every way. I am very proud of you.”

“But I have one problem,” he continued. “Last week, our parent company instituted a salary and wage freeze. They have refused to consider any exceptions.”

My heart sank. Though I tried to appear professional, I’m sure that my disappointment was written all over my face.

Then he handed me an envelope and said the most amazing thing. “In that envelope is a check for the amount I promised you. It’s not from the company, but from me personally. I have discussed this with my wife, and we are both in agreement. You don’t have a choice about whether or not to accept it. So don’t even think about it. I made a commitment to you. You lived up to your end of the bargain—and then some—and I want to live up to mine.”

As a young businessman, that act made an enormous impression on me. Not only did it bond me to my boss—still one of my best friends—for life, it has provided concrete guidance in every tough decision I have ever made.

HUNGRY

A hungry person is someone with an appetite. Metaphorically speaking, his last meal is already a fading memory. He wants to eat, and he wants to eat now. All he can think about is food!

In other words, he doesn’t dwell on his past accomplishments. He is never satisfied. He is always reaching for more—setting higher goals. He is driven to exceed whatever expectations have been imposed upon him. This is just a part of his make-up.

A hungry person is intellectually curious. He reads constantly—newspapers, magazines, and books. Lots of books. He loves learning new things and sharing what he is learning with others.

He doesn’t get stuck in ruts. He is open to new ideas and new ways of solving old problems. He is always looking for the best solution and embraces change if it will take him—or the company—to a new level.

He comes to meetings prepared, having completed his homework. In the meeting, he is an active listener, asking lots of questions and taking notes. After the meeting, he follows up. He completes his assignments on-time without someone having to prod him to do so. He is relentless when it comes to execution.

In short, a hungry person “plays full out,” holding nothing back. More than anything, he wants to win and is willing to pay the price to do so.

SMART

A smart person usually scores high on traditional IQ tests. But not always. You have to be careful. Some people are book-smart but street-stupid. I’d like to have both. But if forced to choose, I’ll take the street-smart candidate.

A smart person is a quick study. He can “connect the dots” without a lot of help. He has a natural ability to “think laterally,” that is, across disciplines. He can apply what he learns in one field or category to another.

He is comfortable using metaphors and analogies. He knows how to make complex subjects simple without confusing himself and everyone else in the process.

I was a philosophy major. Some of the books I had to read were really difficult. I remember reading, re-reading, and then re-re-reading some particularly tough passages. Then it dawned on me. If this guy is so smart, why can’t he explain this in a way that is easy to follow? Maybe this is a case of “the emperor has no clothes.”

In my experience, confusion sometimes masquerades as complexity. Listening to an explanation, you might be tempted to think that you’re just not smart enough to understand the issue. But in reality, the presenter doesn’t understand it well enough to make it simple. I want people working for me who are smart enough to work through the complexity in order to arrive at simple explanation.

A smart person also asks thoughtful questions. He sees connections between topics that others miss. He is aware of nuances. He has diverse interests, which come in handy when he is trying to understand new information.

He is also able to focus mentally, for long periods of time if necessary. He doesn’t give up quickly. He keeps pressing until he gets the insight or clarity he needs. He is a creative problem-solver.

Finally, smart people have cognitive intelligence. That’s most of what I have covered here. But that alone is not sufficient. In my opinion, a successful candidate also needs emotional, relational, and even spiritual intelligence to succeed.

SUMMARY

It’s hard to find the buried treasure unless you have a map. It’s difficult to win a scavenger hunt unless you have a list. And, it’s impossible to hire the right people unless you know exactly what you are looking for.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRYING AND DOING

There’s an instructive scene in the Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back. Yoda is instructing Luke Skywalker in how to use the Force. He asks Luke to retrieve his disabled spaceship out of a bog where it has sunk, using only his mind.

Luke, of course, thinks this is impossible. Sure, he has been able to move stones around this way. But a spaceship? That’s completely different. Or is it.


Yoda patiently explains that it is only different in his mind. Luke reluctantly agrees to “give it a try.”

Yoda famously says, “No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.“

Recently, I watched Tony Robbins [Warning: rough language] give similar advice to a woman who was struggling in her marriage. She stood up in one of his seminars to ask a question. She complained that she had “tried everything” to improve her relationship with her husband but nothing had changed.

The woman looked confused. Tony reiterated, “Try to pick it up.” The woman just stood there, not knowing what to do.

Tony continued, “No, now you’re not picking it up. I said try to pick it up.” Again, she picked up the chair.

Again, Tony, said, “No, you picked up the chair. I asked you to try and pick it up. You either pick it up, you don’t pick it up, or you try to pick it up.”

The point is that when we say we are trying we don’t really have to do anything. It also provides us with an excuse for why we didn’t accomplish the outcome we say we want.

Do you understand the difference? You either do something or you don’t do it. Trying is really the same as not doing it. It just makes it easier for us to let ourselves off the hook when we fail.

Where are you trying to improve?

Are you trying to get in shape or are you getting in shape.
Are you trying to improve your marriage or are improving your marriage.
Are you trying to make more sales calls or are you making more sales calls.

This may sound like a small distinction, but it has huge ramifications.

Maybe it’s time to quit trying and just do it. Here are three suggestions:

Eliminate the word “try” from your vocabulary. It is a worthless word that accomplishes nothing. It only makes you feel better when you fail.
Decide either to do or not do. If you don’t want to do something fine. Don’t do it. But don’t pretend that trying is the same as doing. They are two completely different postures.
Commit 100 percent to the outcome you want. Like the project manager in Apollo 13 said, “Failure is not an option.” Play full out. Go for the win. Don’t settle for merely trying.
As Yoda suggested to Luke, the difference may only be in your mind, but it has a dramatic impact on the outcome of whatever you set out to do.

Tony went on to make a distinction that I think is vitally important. He asked the woman to try to pick up the chair she was sitting in. She turned around and picked up the chair.

Tony said, “No, you picked it up. I said try to pick it up.”

WAYS TO GO FURTHER, FASTER

Several years ago, I wrote out a list of “100 Things I Want to Do Before I Die.” It’s really an amazing, audacious list. Whenever I review it, I am both inspired and stunned by how many of the items I have already accomplished. And yet, there is so much more. The list keeps growing.
I’ll bet you have a list, too. Perhaps you’ve written it down; perhaps not. Regardless, you doubtless want to accomplish things—probably a lot of things. Really important things. Unfortunately, life is short. I have more to accomplish than I could probably do in seven lifetimes.


So how do you actually make significant progress on your goals? How can you get more things done and squeeze as much juice out of life as possible?

One of the most important things you can do, of course, is to write down your goals. I have written about this in the 90- Day Challenge,so I won’t repeat myself here. But assuming you have done that, what’s next?
I’m going to tell you the single most important action you can take to go further, faster and to make your dreams become reality. I have done this over and over again in my life. To the extent I have achieved any level of success, I believe this is the secret:

Enlist the help of the best coaches and instructors you can afford.
My assumption is that someone, somewhere has already done what you are attempting to do—and done it well. If you can tap into their experience and learn from it, you can get to where you want to go faster and with fewer missteps along the journey.

There are basically three ways you can do this. These are arranged from least expensive to most expensive. However, you can often find free alternatives if you look hard enough.


1. Read the best, most relevant information.

My journey into uncharted territory always begins with a search on Google. There is a ton of free information on the web (obviously). This will give you a feel for who the experts are and what they have to say. If I want to go deeper, I then buy the best books I can find on a given topic.

2. Sign-up for specialized classes.

I have a short attention span, so full-length, longer-term courses don’t work for me. I get bored. I prefer the all-day, three-day, or (occasionally) a one-week course


3.Hire world-class experts.

Next, I enlisted the help of real people who could hone my skills beyond what I could learn in a book or garner from a course.

In addition, in the course of my life, I have hired nutritionists, counselors, music teachers, accountants, lawyers, fishing guides, agents, and various kinds of instructors and coaches. Some have been short-term; some have been long-term. My philosophy is to use them as long as they continue to provide value.

Note that I said, “hire the best coaches and instructors you can afford.” For years, the most I could afford was to check out a book from the library. Don’t worry about what you can’t afford or do. Focus, instead, on what you can afford and do that.

In the end, you can accomplish more than you ever thought possible. And you can do it faster and with better results if you just enlist the assistance of the right guide and do what they say. I can’t think of anything else that will help you accomplish your goals more than this.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

QUESTIONS ARE POWER TOOLS

One day, I sat down with an old friend to catch up. He lost his job about nine months ago in a recession-induced layoff and has been unable to find another job. He’s had plenty of interviews just no offers.

“What’s wrong with me?” he asked. “Why won’t someone offer me a job?” He was clearly discouraged.

I am sure he wasn’t even conscious of the question he was asking. It just bubbled up from his subconscious. But it was a good example of a bad question.

Questions are powerful tools. They can ignite hope and lead to new insights. They can also destroy hope and keep us stuck in bad assumptions.

The key is to be intentional and choose our questions well.

For example, when something bad happens, you could ask:

  • Why does this always happen to me?
  • What did I do to deserve this?
  • What’s wrong with me?

As soon as we ask these questions, our brains go to work, serving up answers. It is almost automatic. The answers have a way of reinforcing the assumptions behind the question.

For example, if you ask “What’s wrong with me?” you are assuming there IS something wrong with you. Your mind immediately begins proposing possible answers.

Maybe it’s because:

  • You’re too old.
  • You’re too young.
  • You’re inexperienced.
  • You’re overqualified.
  • You’re too assertive.
  • You’re too passive.

Whatever the question, the answers reinforce the assumption and provide an excuse for why you are not getting the results you want.

But what if you ask a different question? For example, my friend could ask:

  • What could I do to make my interviews more memorable?
  • What are the two or three attributes that make me the best possible candidate for the job?
  • How can I follow up in a way that makes it easier for the prospective employer to say “yes”?
  • How could my apparent liabilities really be an asset in this situation?

These are constructive questions. They empower and create new possibilities. They lead to action. And they will produce results.

The last question is particularly interesting. How could your apparent liabilities really be an asset in this situation?

For example, if you think you are too old, that could, in fact, be a tremendous asset. You have no doubt made a lot of mistakes and have learned from them. As a result, you havebetter judgment.

If you think you don’t have enough experience, that too could be a great asset. You aren’t locked into the same assumptions as more experienced candidates. It is easier for you to think “outside the box” and approach problems with a fresh perspective.

Here are four ways to ask better, more empowering questions:

  1. Become conscious of the questions you are asking yourself.
  2. Evaluate these questions: Is this a good question? If not, what’s a better one?
  3. Choose the better question. Be intentional.
  4. Write down the answers that your brain serves up. Act on these insghts.

If you want to change the results you are getting, you must change your thinking.


Friday, January 20, 2012

THE 212° PRINCIPLE IN YOUR GOAL-SETTING

Sometimes, success is simply a matter of making one small adjustment. For example, at 211 degrees, water is hot. But at 212 degrees it boils. This makes all the difference.
Raising the temperature of water by one extra degree means the difference between something that is simply very hot and something that generates enough force to power a machine—a beautiful, uncomplicated metaphor that ideally should feed every endeavor—consistently pushing us to make the extra effort in every task we undertake…. It reminds us that seemingly small things can make tremendous differences.

Think about it:

  • The margin of victory in the Men’s 800-meter Race in the 1984 Summer Olympic Games was only 0.71 seconds—less than one second!
  • The average margin of victory in the Daytona 500 and the Indianapolis 500 (combined) over the last ten years has been 1.54 seconds. And the prize money for second place was less than half that of first place.
  • The average margin of victory for the last 25 years in all major PGA golf tournaments combined was less than three strokes.

The point is that it doesn’t take that much extra effort to win first place. What could you do if you were willing to push just a little bit more and break ahead of the pack?

Here’s how you can harness the 212° principle in your goal-setting:

  1. Choose one goal. Select the one that matters the most to you this year.
  2. Identify what’s at stake. Why is accomplishing this goal so important—to you?
  3. Write down 2-3 key actions. These are the ones that could propel you into the winner’s circle.
  4. Now execute! Stop planning. Stop stalling. Just get out there and do it.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY!

Several years ago, one of my colleagues walked out of his office and collapsed on the floor in front of me. I had no idea what was wrong. Several people rushed to the scene, but all we could do was call 911 and wait for an ambulance to arrive. It was a terrible, helpless feeling. As it turned out, he had pneumonia.
Based on this—and a few other similar experiences—we created a “First Responders” program at our company about a year ago. We wanted to provide selected employees with the knowledge and skills necessary to act in an emergency situation. The role of our First Responders is “to sustain life, reduce pain, and minimize the consequences of an injury or sudden illness until more advanced medical help can arrive.”The First Responders receive 48 hours of company-paid training through the American Red Cross. We currently have twelve trained First Responders throughout the company.

The original group were trained and certified three years ago. The additional eight were trained within the last year.

As the company’s CEO, I am deeply grateful for our First Responders. They are not receiving additional compensation. They are simply doing this out of their commitment to the company, their love for their fellow-employees, and their interest in this field. Frankly, I rest much better knowing that we have trained people ready and available should an emergency occur.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

THE MISSING INGREDIENT IN MOST GOALS


A clearly written goal is not enough. A carefully thought out action plan isn’t either. You need more than this if you are going to accomplish really big goals. Let me explain.

Last year, I set a goal to write a new book. As someone who has spent his career in the book publishing industry, I had witnessed hundreds (if not thousands) of people get turned away by publishers, simply because they didn’t have a platform.

So, I was super-excited about the idea of sharing my journey in book form, along with all the practical tips and resources I had gleaned along the way.

So I wrote a goal:


Finish a 50,000-word manuscript on platform-building by November 1, 2011.

I then wrote out a very specific, detailed action plan. It included developing the book proposal, securing a publishing contract, writing the first draft, etc. I then rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

I finished the book proposal by the end of April—right on schedule.

Then I hit my first snag.

I had an incredibly busy fall, with more speaking engagements than I had originally anticipated. As a result, I didn’t make as much progress on my book as I had hoped.

The November 1st deadline came—and went. I was a long, long way from turning in a manuscript. Worse, the original outline I had created wasn’t working. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the logic to work.

It was at this point that I really began despairing about the project.I was stuck in “the middle of the story!!”

You know what I’m talking about, right? It’s that part of every journey when you aren’t sure you have what it takes to finish but you are too far along to quit. That’s exactly where I was.

So, I went back and took another look at my goal. I had a Goal Statement. I had a detailed Action Plan. Only problem was, that wasn’t enough.

That’s when I reviewed my Internal Motivations for this goal. This is a section I write out for every goal. I list why this goal is important and WHAT'S AT STAKE. It is the component that most people never think to include.

But it can save your bacon when things get tough.

Here’s what I wrote under the Internal Motivations heading for this goal:

I will achieve this goal because:

  • I want to help the tens of thousands of authors, artists, and would-be creatives who have been turned away because they don’t have a platform.
  • I want to establish my authority as an expert on platform-building.
  • I want to prove that you can create a platform and use it to sell books.
  • I want to open the door to additional speaking engagements on this topic.
  • I want to develop more product to sell on my website and at my speaking engagements.
  • I want to reach beyond my blog to pull in additional readers.
  • I want to establish a pattern of writing one major book a year.

As I re-read this section, I reconnected emotionally. I saw once again why this goal was so important—to me. When I rediscovered my why, I found my way.

I dove back into the project with fresh energy. That doesn’t mean it was easy. It took a ton of work, including the hard work of fighting through fear and doubt.

Finishing the project took me another nine weeks. But I am pleased to report that I turned it into my editor last Friday. There will be more work to do, no doubt, but we are still on track for a May 2012 publication.

So as you are working through your own goals for this year, make sure you have S.M.A.R.T goal statement. Then develop an action plan. But don’t forget to list your Internal Motivations. This is the difference-maker. It may be the one ingredient you need to go the distance.

Monday, January 16, 2012

HOW DIFFERENCES WITH YOUR SPOUSE CAN MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE STRONGER


I hear it all the time. “My husband [or wife] doesn’t understand me. We are so different. We don’t really have anything in common.”

When I first met my wife, I was attracted to her precisely because she was different. Sadly, after a few years, these same differences started to annoy me. In fact, I began to think that my approach to live was right and hers wrong.

I then did what any loving husband would do. I tried to fix her—to make her more like me. And she did the same. Not surprisingly, this led to several years of conflict.

What we forgot was that there’s a reason opposites attract–because it’s good for us.

Think about it. If you married someone just like you, then

  • You wouldn’t have to grow.
  • You wouldn’t have to get out of your comfort zone.
  • You wouldn’t have to enter into someone else’s world.

Instead, differences are precisely what you need to become the person God created you to be.

Differences can add richness, depth, and texture to your marriage. If you embrace them.

Your differences can be your biggest asset as a couple—if you learn how to use them. Here are three steps for doing so.

  1. Identify your differences. You know you are different than your spouse, but that is not enough. I am talking about more specificity. In what ways are you different?

    For example, my wife and I are the exact opposite on each of the Myers-Briggs types. I am an INFJ. She is an ESTP. This means:

    • We approach the world differently. I prefer introversion; she prefers extraversion (note: this is the way the word is spelled in the Myers-Briggs literature).
    • We gather information differently. I prefer intuition; she prefers sensing.
    • We make decisions differently. I prefer feeling; she prefers thinking.
    • We approach structure differently. I prefer judging; she prefers perceiving.

    We have completely different strengths. Mine are:

    • Achiever
    • Intellection
    • Strategic
    • Futuristic
    • Relator

    My wifel’s are:

    • Positivity
    • Woo
    • Developer
    • Connectedness
    • Adaptability

    From these tests—and 17 years of observing her—I know the specific ways that we are different.

  2. Acknowledge your differences. It’s not enough to identify your differences and then file away what you’ve observed. No, you must acknowledge these—and celebrate them—in real time.

    Let me give you a practical example. As an extravert (again, the Myers-Briggs spelling), Gail draws her energy from being with people. As an introvert, people wear me out. I prefer being alone.

    But because we love one another, we make sure that help the other person get what they need. Tonight we are going to a dinner party. I would prefer to stay home and read, but I know Gail needs to connect with others to remain emotionally healthy. (I need it too; I just don’t always recognize the need.)

    On the other hand, she knows I can’t be with people every night or I will burnout. So, because she loves me, she sometimes chooses to stay home so I can re-charge. (She also needs this; she just doesn’t always recognize it.)

  3. Leverage your differences. Differences are not something to be resented. They are something to celebrate and use.

    Think of it this way: If Gail and I were exactly the same on the Myers-Briggs results, we would only have four tools at our disposal. But since we are completely opposite, we have eight. It’s as if we have more colors on our palette with which to paint the canvas of our lives!

    The real test of this is in making decisions. As a “J,” I like an orderly, structured world. I want to make decisions quickly and get them behind me.

    Gail is just the opposite. She doesn’t have the same need for structure. She wants to explore all the options. She prefers to have her decisions in front of her.

    Let to myself, I can be impulsive, making decisions I later regret. Let to herself, Gail can procrastinate, missing opportunities she later regrets. Together, we ensure that we explore all our options but then make a decision.

We usually think of this in terms of friendship, but it applies equally to marriage.

You weren’t attracted to your spouse by accident. What if God led you to him or her because He knew precisely what you needed to realize your full potential.

Share

Twitter Delicious Facebook Digg Stumbleupon Favorites More