Your Happy life

It is possible to build a happy life, but for most of us, it’s not easy. Maybe you know someone who seemed to manifest a happy life in an instant; I don’t. I have heard of these miraculous awakenings into happiness, and I believe them to be true. One thing I have noticed, is that most of these cases seem to have something in common; a drastic change in perspective. Most often, through some type of near death or major life changing event. But even in these cases, the individuals seem to only maintain this amazing sense of perspective for a short time. As they say, eventually life get’s in the way.

As many of us do not experience some type of amazing life changing experience, how do we go about creating a happy life? More precisely for this article concerning perspective, how do we go about creating a new sense of perspective? Let’s examine the definition of perspective as it pertains to this article: the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc. Most of our ideas are based on past experiences, which lead us to anticipate what the outcome will be from similar, or not so similar events in the future. For example, maybe in a relationship we have been left abandoned or our spouse has been unfaithful, we are more likely to anticipate these same things happening in future relationships. As a result, we may alter our actions to prevent this from happening in the future, warranted or not. There is a lot of emphasis on living in the now these days, which is precisely one of the ways to change our perspective.

Living in and for the moment releases us from all past experiences and fears of the future. However, staying in each moment the best we can is difficult. With all the things going on in our life, its hard to stay connected to the moment. We may even feel as if we’re loosing control if we’re not worrying about the future or what we can do to control it. Nonetheless, there is tremendous power in keeping our mind and soul in the current moment as best we can.

By concentrating on doing the best in the moment we’re in, we’re actually creating our future. What we’re doing right now in this moment, is putting things into motion that may or may not come to pass tomorrow. Although there is no guarantee, we certainly will not have the chance of a better future if we do nothing.

Let’s pretend that I don’t know how to swim and I happen to be driving down a coastal highway looking out at the ocean. I know, or have a good reason to believe, that if I stop the car and jump into the ocean I’ll drown. Pretty basic right? But how probable is it that I will ever learn how to swim if I never get out of the car? Not very. If I want to change my future—the chance of entering an ocean without drowning—at some point I’m going to have to stop the car and get out. As in life, there are certain actions I must take in this moment if I’m going to be in a position to have a happy life in the future. One way of putting into motion a happy life, is searching for inner happiness as it pertains to each and every moment.

When I was recovering from a deep depression in my life, I spent a lot of time around friends I had met in a support group. I remember when I felt a sense of doom and depression creeping back in, I used a simple technique. I would stop, look around myself at all the friends I had who supported me, and would remind myself that right now, in this moment, everything is OK. I realized that for most of my life, I was so concerned with how to find happiness, I was missing out on all the happy things that were happening around me. During this period I also concentrated on keeping things simple. I would journal about what I felt and experienced throughout each day; how certain activities would make me feel happy. When depressive feelings or unhappiness would start to sneak back into my mind, I would get out the journal and remind myself what I did last time I felt that way. Then I would do that. Pretty simple right?

By learning to stay in the moment as best I could, my perspective gradually changed. I begin realizing that I was making better choices in life and as a result I was creating my happy life! My perspective changed in that I realized experiences I had in the past were not necessarily going to happen again. I had to surrender to the fact that the only control I have is what I’m doing right now in this moment. By building a happy moment, I’m creating a happy life.

The key to creating your happy life is grasping several key concepts. One is learning how to lower your expectations of others and yourself. As a result, you are forced to be more present in the moment you’re in. Lower expectations result in less fear and anxiety and a life filled with more moments of happiness. Another key concept is acceptance. Learning to accept there are only certain things we can control, mainly ourselves. Moreover, we cannot control others; which we often try and fail with great frustration.

Creating your happy life starts with creating happy moments.

How To Lead A Happy Life

I often get asked “how to lead a happy life?” My response is always, live and lead yourself right and you’ll have or “lead” a happy life. Although it sounds easy, most of us aren’t sure what living right means. I wasn’t living right for years and as a result wasn’t happy. Although I wasn’t quite sure what “living right” meant, I was pretty confident I wasn’t doing it. My conscience took care of letting me know that almost every day.

In order to know how to live right or how to be happy in life, you must know self. Like I’ve said a hundred times before; it’s like trying to buy a Christmas or birthday present for someone you don’t know very well. You really want to make them happy but have no idea what that is… hard isn’t it? Creating your healthy happy life is the same way. You have to know what you need and to know that you have to have self-knowledge.

A healthy happy life is created when we have balance. When our happiness is not contingent on sources outside self and we’re grateful for our life; body and soul! We’re healthy (both mentally and physically) because we care for our bodies as well as our minds. The more gratitude we have the happier we feel, it just all goes together in creating your happy life!

Of course it all sounds nice and easy written or typed out here on this page, but getting there is not so easy. That’s why I’ve created How To Find Happiness, to help others achieve true inner-peace and happiness through self-love and discovery.

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Life story is your own!

A growing number of people have decided to write a life story, autobiography, memoir or personal history. And more are thinking about it. But writing my life story was not a decision I arrived at overnight. Most of us don’t suddenly have an epiphany that our stories must be told. However, once you conclude it is important to preserve your story you are faced with a host of questions, such as how to get started, what the finished product will be, how much will it cost and who will do the work.

In some ways I am writing my life story every day. My thoughts, actions and experiences are forming the memories and life lessons that contribute to the story I share with others. I regularly record in my personal journal the insights from my life and I try to be aware of what’s going on around me.

You might think it a trite cliché, but we really do need to “stop and smell the flowers”. You only have this one life – and you should recognize that each day is a gift. One of the most important lessons any of us will ever learn is that we need to be present to our lives. We need to be alert to our ever unfolding life.

I know it is difficult to keep a sharp awareness at all times. Life is happening…and often circumstances wrap us up and we forget to pay attention. But at the end of the day – every day – you can look back and make note of its significance.

Writing your life story is a combination of reminiscence and evaluation. As you walk through memories you will recall certain events. You’ll remember them in a way that stirs feelings. If you tap into those emotions – the joy, sadness, exhilaration, drudgery, laughter and tears – you will find you are evaluating what those memories mean to you

This process can be cathartic, even therapeutic. But it also can require facing up to some self truth. We like to paint our version of the past, and that can be fine, as long as it isn’t causing harm to others – or to you. What you end up putting down for others to read is ultimately up to you. But I hope that you can be honest with your self. There are some things that perhaps shouldn’t be revealed. Think about them. What do those memories mean to you? And it also helps to consider something else very important.

Motivation Is Key

Writing a life story, an autobiography, a memoir – this can be a big undertaking. Your motivation for doing it will help you stay dedicated to finishing the story. That motivation will come from your primary reason for writing your story.

So first, think hard and long about why you want to tell your story. What is your motivation? Is it to pass on your personal history to your family? Is it to share your views and values? Have you been through some extraordinary experiences, such as great suffering, disease, heartache or spiritual transformation?

Do you desire to be in the spotlight and boast of your accomplishments? (Hey, vanity can be a strong motivator.)

Maybe you hope to just make some sense of your life.

The why of your story is important, so do give it some serious thought.

Now How

How you tell your story is another important consideration. Will you start at the beginning (chronological)? Are you going to record your entire life, from childhood to elderly status (autobiography)? Or do you prefer to focus on a specific time or event and what it means to you (memoir)?

There are many ways to tell your story. There are also different ways to present it.

The Point of View

A common approach is you telling us your story from your unique perspective. This is the technique most often used if you are doing the writing, or if you hire a ghost writer. An example:One of my favorite childhood memories was catching my first fish. It took me some time to successfully bait a hook with a writhing and slippery worm. But it was worth it when I finally had a fish bite down hard. He got his worm and I landed my prize – that trout was secure on the end of my line as I wrestled it ashore!

Your story can also be told “about you”. This is typical when you hire another to do the writing. Example: Johnny was remarkable for his resolve. If you dared to argue with him you best have your facts straight because he wasn’t going to admit defeat unless you could prove it five ways from Sunday.

Either way can be fine and both have considerations. If you are telling your story from your perspective you need to be careful not to be too overbearing. Too much use of the “I” word can turn the reader off. Aye-yi-yi.

Also, avoid being preachy. You probably do have some valuable lessons, but if you are telling others how they should live their lives – and implying you know best – people will reject it. Much better is to show how you met life challenges and share your insights and what you’ve learned.

The writer who writes your story in a third-person narrative has to be careful to say what you want them to. It’s not an expose by an aggressive investigative journalist – unless that’s what you want! A good personal history life writer will review the text with you and get your feedback and corrections. But they will also have the ability to bring your story to life in an interesting way, using vivid detail and the insight you share with them.

Start Where You Want

One of my happiest discoveries about writing my life story is that I didn’t have to start at the beginning. Eventually the manuscript will contain the parts of your story you want included, but if it jumpstarts the process to begin with a special recollection then by all means do so. It’s not unusual for writers to work on different parts of their story at different times. This can be stimulating to your memory. You’ll also find the actual process of the writing will inspire and motivate you.

The placement of the parts of your story will most likely be worked out nearer the end of the writing. You certainly can benefit from an outline, but the table of contents might not be finalized until after you’ve recorded your different experiences.

Theme Writing

If your story is well-crafted and cohesive, it will have a certain theme. Love lost. Redemption. Perseverance. Gratitude. Note it can, and probably will, have a combination of such themes. However, there should be an umbrella theme that the reader gets from your story. How you arrive at the theme depends again on your motivation, but also on what your story eventually says about you, or what main message you want to convey.

Don’t be surprised if you change your mind about the theme over the course of writing your life story. That can happen as the writing process takes you deeper into the meaning and purpose of your life and story.

Make a Memory List

A great way to organize your thoughts, stir up memories and get ideas for what to include in your story is to create a Memory List. Your goal is to write as many short sentences or phrases about events and life experiences as you can. Don’t worry about writing complete sentences or including a lot of detail. A few words will do the trick. First scout campout. Birth of second child. Told I had cancer. Attended rock concert of my favorite group. Christmas in Australia.

From your list of memories you will eventually sort out the core memories that will play key roles in your story. Some of the memories will be combined as you find similarities. Others might stand alone, even become an entire chapter. And some will get discarded. You want to have an extensive list. It will take more than one sitting. Keep your memory list in a three-ring binder and refer to it regularly, recording more memories as they occur to you.

It’s Your Life Story, So Own It!

Your life story is your own. Take time to prepare for it. Consider the tips and suggestions in this article. Talk to someone you trust to help you flesh it out. Even if you do the writing yourself it is helpful to have a writing coach or consultant.

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