25 THINGS I HATE ABOUT FACEBOOK

 I have been tempted to deactivate my Facebook account for some time. In this short YouTube video, Julian Smith comically explains his frustrations. I concur with all twenty-five of his reasons.

I was ready to deactivate my Facebook account last week. Then I heard Chris Brogan atO’Reilly’s Tools of Change Conference. He put forth a model that I really liked.

To paraphrase, he said that your blog is your “homebase.” This is where you ultimately direct people. On the other hand, services like Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. are “outposts.” The purpose of an outpost is to connect with people that otherwise wouldn’t find your homebase.

This makes sense to me. At least several times a week, I get Facebook messages from people who say, “I stumbled across your blog on Facebook.” So, for now, I guess I will keep my account open. Personally, I find Twitter so much easier to use and more rewarding—and certainly less annoying.

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PRACTICING THE ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

Several years ago, at the encouragement of a friend, I started carrying a gratitude rock in my pocket. It’s really just a small, smooth stone that I picked up from the fish pond behind our house. I carry it with me where ever I go.

The idea is simple. Whenever my hand contacts the stone–usually several times a day–I give thanks for whatever is happening at that moment, whether good or bad.

It is amazing how this simple act changes my perspective and, ultimately, my attitude. Instead of seeing the glass half-empty, I see it half-full. Instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I focus on what I do have–right now.

Someone once wisely told me, “You won’t get what you don’t have until you learn to be grateful for what you do have.” I think that is so true. We so often focus on our lack–what’smissing.

For example, we complain about our lack of a vibrant, real relationship with God. We wish our church were bigger–or smaller. We wish we had a spouse. Or perhaps we wish we didn’t have a spouse. Or maybe we want to change our spouse.

Or we wish we could get a different job, a different boss, or a bigger paycheck. We wish we had more interesting work, more sensitive coworkers, or different hours.

We wish we could live in a different city, a different part of the city, or a different house. We complain about our furniture, our car, and all our other stuff.

To state the obvious, this is not healthy. And do we really think this complaining spirit will lead to better relationships or more abundance?

I’ve always given thanks when I pray, but often it’s just perfunctory. Now, I am trying to give thanks more deliberately. The gratitude rock is one tool that is helping me.

Let me challenge you to push the pause button and write down twenty items you are thankful for right now. Here’s my list:

My Gratitude List

1. My relationship with God
2. His constant presence with me and blessings in my life
3. My relationship with Gail
4. Thirty-three years of marriage
5. Gail’s constant support and encouragement
6. Gail’s wisdom and timing
7. Gail’s incredible parenting skills
8. Gail’s sense of humor and her incredible servant’s heart
9. Our home and the joy of sharing it with others
10. My daughters and sons-in-law and the varieties of their personalities
11. Their love for Gail and for me
12. My grandchildren, who always make me smile
13. The joy of laughing with Gail and the family
14. The little town of Franklin and the fun of being able to walk to almost everything
15. This new season of my life, where I am living my dream of speaking and writing
16. The fact that I have enough to eat today
17. Dark chocolate
18. The fact that I am warm, dry, and comfortable
19. The fact that I am healthy and able to exercise regularly
20. My church and the the people I have worshipped with for twenty-seven years

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5 WAYS TO MAKE MORE TIME TO READ

“I don’t have time to read.”

When I tell people about my blog, that’s one of the comments I usually hear in response. The implication—or at least the way my possibly oversensitive mind takes it—“You must not have any life to read that many books … loser.”

Of course, I exaggerate. But, really, it’s a tension a lot of people in our overworked and overstressed society deal with. They understand that reading is important—after all, their second grade teacher made that clear. But nobody has the time to read a Dr. Seuss book, much less To Kill A Mockingbird or (gasp!) Infinite Jest.

In the last few years, I’ve dramatically changed my lifestyle. I’ve trained for five half marathons and two full marathons while working a full-time job. I’ve read 30 novels since last September. And, on top of all that, my wife and I had our first child last June. Kids have a slight effect on your schedule. Maybe you’ve heard?

Life is hectic around our house. But I’ve somehow managed to make time to read in the middle of all that. And I say that not to pat myself on the back but to show that, even with a busy life, it is possible (and important) to make time for hobbies you’re passionate about.

Here are a few tips that have helped me:

1. Sacrifice something. You’ve got 24 hours in a day. You spend 8–10 hours (hopefully not much more) working. You spend 6–8 hours sleeping. You’ve got family and friends to spend time with every day. All of this doesn’t leave much time for other interests, like reading. So your golf game, like mine, might take a hit. You might have to turn off the television after 9:00 p.m. But, if reading is a priority, you’ll make time for it. As Jon Acuff puts it: “Be selfish at 5 a.m.”
2. Make a routine. If I say I’m just going to “find time to read,” then it will never happen. I have to make time to read. So here’s what I do: I read during my lunch break, and I read at night, beginning around 8:45, after family time, after the wife and little guy are in bed.
3. Set a goal. You’ve heard this so much that it’s clichéd. But it works. My goal is to read 101 novels. Usually, I would’ve given myself a deadline, but I didn’t want to speed read through the books, so I just chose to read them as they come. At my current pace, I’ll reach my goal in three more years. Maybe you should set a goal to read one book a month. If that seems unlikely, then make it one book every two months. And take it a step further—tell someone about your goal. Or, if you’re crazy like me, start a blog about it. There’s nothing like that extra accountability to keep you moving.
4. Have fun. You don’t have to read a book simply because a friend suggested it, you know? Think about your hobbies, interests, and passions—then go and read about those subjects. I once spent five months reading nothing but casual, behind-the-scenes books about restaurants and chefs. I’m a chef groupie, I guess. Once you’ve read a few “fun” books, then dabble into the more serious, thought-provoking stuff.
5. Mix it up. Once you get into the flow of reading, branch out of your comfort zone. If all you’ve read is nonfiction business books, then relax a little and pick up a novel. If you’ve plowed through Stephen King’s entire catalog in a few years, maybe it’s time to give a leadership or inspirational book a try. The point is: If you read the same style of book over and over, you’ll eventually get burned out and go back to watching two hours of Brady Bunch reruns every day…unless you’re reading 101 books for some crazy blog, of course.

As a result of these basic steps, I’ve dramatically altered my lifestyle over the last year. If I’m not at work or spending time with family or friends, I’m probably reading. At 9:00 every evening, you can probably find me in my “man cave,” in my chair, lights dimmed, reading a book or updating my blog. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hopefully, one day, my mind will thank me for the daily exercise. As Dr. Seuss says, “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

And who’s going to argue with Dr. Seuss?

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25 QUESTIONS TO ASK IN THE FIRST INTERVIEW

I have a list of questions that I use during my first interview with a candidate. It has evolved over time, as I have gained more experience. I don’t ask every question in every interview; rather I keep it on my lap as a reference.

HUMBLE

1. How do feel about this opportunity?
2. What work experiences have you had that prepare you to be successful in this position?
3. What do you see as your three greatest strengths?
4. What do you think is your biggest weakness?
5. How do you learn best? How would you describe your learning style?
6. You’ve obviously accomplished a great deal. To what do you attribute that success?
7. We all make mistakes. When you discover that you have made one, how do you handle it

HONEST

8. Do you think that telling a “white lie” is ever justified “for the greater good”?
9. If things go wrong with a project, what obligation if any do you feel compelled to share with your boss?
10. If someone else has wronged you in some way, how do you deal with the situation?
11. Can you tell me about a recent situation where you had to share bad news with someone? How did you handle it?
12. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to make good on a commitment that you wished you hadn’t made?

HUNGRY

13. Are you satisfied with what you have accomplished in your life so far?
14. Where do you see yourself in three years?
15. What are your biggest personal goals? career goals?
16. Would you consider yourself a reader? What kinds of things do you like to read?
17. What was the last book you have read? What are you reading now?
18. How do you make sure that you follow-up on your assignments? Do you have a system?
19. How do you typically prepare for meetings?

SMART

20. How well did you do in school? If you had to do it over again, how would you have done it differently?
21. What do you wish they had taught you in school that they didn’t?
22. Do you consider yourself a smart person? If so, why?
23. What’s your general approach to problem-solving?
24. How would you describe your learning style?
25. What are some of your interests outside of work?

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Differences Between Man and Women in a Shower

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,etc. Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumicestone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

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TOP 10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN

10. I think of you as a brother = (you remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in Deliverance)

9. There's a little difference in our ages = (You are one Jurassic geezer)

8. I'm not attracted to you in "that" way = (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on)

7. My life if too complicated right now = (I don't want you spending the whole night, or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing)

6. I've got a boyfriend = (Who's really my male cat)

5. I don't date men where I work = (Hey bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building)

4. It's not you, it's me = (It's not me, it's you)

3. I'm concentrating on my career = (even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you)

2. I'm celibate = (I've sworn off only the men like you)

and the number one rejection line given by women... (and what it really means)

1. Let's be friends = (I want you to stick around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with)

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY MEN

10. I think of you as a sister = (you're ugly)

9. There's a slight difference in age = (you're ugly)

8. I'm not attracted to you in "that" way = (you're ugly)

7. My life's too complicated right now = (you're ugly)

6. I've got a girlfriend = (you're ugly)

5. I don't date women where I work = (you're ugly)

4. It's not you, it's me = (you're ugly)

3. I'm concentrating on my career = (you're ugly)

2. I'm celibate = (you're ugly)

and the number one rejection line given by men... (and what it really means)

1. Let's be friends = (you're ugly)

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Work to live or live to work

"Work to live or live to work" – no doubt, you’ve heard that before. Here’s another well-worn cliché: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

There’s plenty of truth in both those statements. You really can’t enjoy life, at least not fully, if all you do is work. Unfortunately, for too many of us we have to work more than we want. It’s tough making a living and it’s hard to make enough money to pay the bills. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.

There are times when it is crunch time with work. If you have a project with a deadline then you’ve got to get it done or suffer the consequences. The key is good planning, discipline and also knowing when to say, “enough is enough”. The last thing any of us needs to do is drop dead from the stress of working too much.

All that being said, I’ve been faced with an incredible load lately. Through it all I’ve had good days when a lot has been accomplished and I’ve had those days when I just want to throw my hands in the air. It’s been making me think. I don’t want to work all the time. But, I also enjoy work when it is something I find worthwhile. That is the key, isn’t it? If you can’t do work you love then it just becomes drudgery.

Whether or not you have a job you love you can always make time to play. I’ve been reflecting on the games and playtime I enjoy. I have a couple of kids and some of the times we all remember as the best are when we do something fun together. Sometimes we play board games. Other times we go out – to the park, a ball game or a concert. It sure beats just sitting in front of the television.

One of the games we really enjoy as a family is a card game we call "Okie Rummy". Many of our friends and our other relatives jump at a chance to play it when we get together. The game is a lot like gin rummy, but it has a few different nuances. Without explaining all the rules, the goal is each round to get the number of "books" (3 or 4 cards of a kind, like all fours, kings, etc) or "straights" (4 or 5 in a row of the same suit). Every round starts out with all the players getting dealt eleven cards and we have six different rounds where we have to get so many books and straights. You have to draw a card each time or pick up the discard of the player before you. If you don’t want the card the previous player discarded then it goes around in order to the other players who have the option of "buying" the card. We all get four pennies to start with and each penny can be used for a buy, but your purchase requires you to also take two more cards from the middle pile.

You strive to get what you need and put down your cards and get rid of any leftovers. You can put cards down on the other players’ books and straights when they lay down. The first to get rid of all their cards wins the round. When you win a round you get negative points and each round has more negative points than the one before. The first round winner gets minus 50, the next round minus 100 and so on. If you are caught with cards left when someone else wins a round those cards count against you. So, you don’t want a positive point count; you want the best negative number. And two’s and jokers are wild.

As I try to explain it here I realize it’s probably hard to follow. Don’t sweat it. The point I’m making is that we love to play this game. It even gets pretty competitive and we’ve played this game for years. I think part of the fun is that we’ve enjoyed this game for so long and it’s a great excuse to get together and socialize.

Have some fun in your life. Make the most of work, but more importantly, make the most of living and that means finding a good balance between work and play. 

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